In Memory Of Jake

     I first met Jake about  a year ago, when I was trapping a feral colony living at a local trailer park. The kind-hearted managers of the park fed the colony, but were aware that they

would soon be overwhelmed if the cats continued to reproduce.  Jake was a big, beautiful Siamese Tom, whose people had abandoned him and who lived outside with the feral colony. He was one of the first ones to be neutered and returned. The trailer park managers clearly loved him very much and he would allow them to pet him, but he lived the life of a feral kitty.

      Two days ago, I got a call from Jake's 'mom'—let's call her Anne—she was obviously very upset and said she thought Jake had been hit by a car. His legs were smashed up and he had been missing for an entire week, during which time Anne and her husband – Bob, let's call him – searched for him. Now Jake was back and obviously badly injured. She asked me what they should do.

      Now IF I had been thinking more clearly, IF I could do it over again, I guess the obvious response would be this: take him immediately to your vet. If you don't have a vet, I can recommend one. But I didn't think that clearly. I could hear Jake crying in the background. Somehow I assumed they didn't have a carrier for him, although they hadn't said this. Never-the-less, I told them I'd be over at once with a carrier. I went into high alert, that place I go when an animal emergency arises. Nothing mattered but to get Jake to the doctor. I called my own vet, and got the okay to bring Jake in. I arrived at the park and found Jake already in a carrier, ready to go.

       As I walked out with Jake in the carrier,—this part breaks my heart—Bob put his hand on my shoulder and said "God bless you."

       At the clinic, the vet came out and sat with me after examining Jake. He told me Jake had broken legs and a broken pelvis and a deep infection in the wounds. He was in shock. I asked if he was "salvageable." The vet replied that he would need at least one operation, then visits to a specialist followed by months of rehabilitation—indoors.  I told the vet Jake was an outdoor cat. The vet recommended euthanasia.

       I wanted Bob and Anne to hear this from the vet himself, so I called them at once. They didn't pick up. I left a message explaining the situation, saying to please call back immediately.  I asked the vet if he could keep Jake until I heard from Anne and Bob. Then I headed off to pick up a pair of cats I'd caught the night before, who'd been neutered, and were awaiting pick up. On the way back, I called Bob and Anne again and again got their machine. I was feeling frantic. Jake was waiting. Somewhere in the urgency of the moment, I decided my priorities were wrong—this was about Jake, not about Bob and Anne. I called one more time. I got the answering machine. I explained that since I hadn't heard from them, I was going to go ahead and give permission to have Jake euthanized.

       At the time, it seemed like the right, the compassionate, decision. Doesn't it always?

       Later that morning I got calls from both Bob and Anne. Anne sounded distraught, she'd called the vet too late, and Jake was gone. She asked me if it was "about the money" and I told her no, we hadn't talked of money at all, we're just talked about Jake's injuries.  I offered to have the vet talk with her, but she said what for, Jake was gone.

       I felt devastated. As if I'd willfully murdered Jake. I thought of a hundred what's if's and why didn't I's. When I couldn't reach Bob and Anne, why didn't I drive back to the trailer park and look for them? I could have found them. I know they were there. But I didn't. Somehow I took the fact that I couldn't reach them on the phone for proof that this situation was now in my hands. And how had it come to be 'in my hands?' I didn't know. Why hadn't one of them come with me to the vet? I didn't know. All I knew was that Jake was dead and I had made that decision when maybe it wasn't mine to make. And yet I know Jake was in pain. I know the vet told me euthanasia was the kindest choice.

       A lot of stuff comes up for me where animals are concerned. I have watched people weep over the death of parents and felt little beyond polite sympathy for their pain.  I get it, but on a deeper level, because I've never felt that kind of love for a parent, no, I don't really 'get' it. I just kind of pretend that I do. But when someone cries over the loss of an animal, it brings up the pain of every cat and dog I've ever lost and all the dread and terror of losses that are sure to come, a tsunami of grief that inundates me so completely I feel like I'm drowning in it. The suffering clogs my throat, and I can't breathe.

       I called the vet, explained the situation, and he called Bob and Anne. I hope whatever he said to them mitigated their pain, but I doubt it. I know if I ever handed one of my cats off to another person and somehow it evolved that that was the last time I saw my cat alive, I would be grief-stricken beyond words. But I can't imagine doing that. I can't imagine not going with the person to the vet. I can't imagine not being glued to my phone. I can't imagine...

       In the end, of course, the only one that's important in this story is Jake. Jake got hit by a car and was terribly injured and died in as humane a manner as possible under the circumstances, and I gave the go-ahead for his death.  And I can't ask for his understanding or for his forgiveness. And I have to live with that.

Kitten Season in High Gear!

      Good news! Of the three kittens that were trapped at Halcyon and Grand Avenue, the little boy went off to a good home this past weekend. The two little girls are still with their foster mom Jamie and will be going to the adopt-a-pet soon. More kittens have been trapped in Nipomo and are headed off to a foster home here in Pismo (not mine, however, my seven guys really object to the patter of little kitten feet around the house!)

       I still have not been able to trap mom over at Halcyon/Grand, although many attempts have been made. Nothing more disappointing than showing up to check my traps at 6 a.m. and finding neither of them sprung, the bait food swarming with ants. So the next plan is to fasten a trap open, using grocery ties, and let the homeowner put mom's food inside the trap for a week or two until she gets used to going in. Then we set it for real and, hopefully, put an end to her kitten-producing career.

      A gentleman from up on the Mesa emailed Feline Network to ask for help with a female cat he has been trying, unsuccessfully, to trap for some time now. I'm going to give it a shot and start trapping for her next week.

      And I was able to help out a kind man who's been feeding a neighborhood stray, a male cat he's named Jack. Jack got neutered on Friday and went to his new home to lead a safer, more settled, and probably longer life now that he won't be out fighting with the other Toms.

      Finally, my own Little Dude got his bloodwork back the other day. From having virtually NO calcium at all in his little body and having bones so brittle they fractured for no reason at all, he now has calcium levels in the HIGH normal range! This is a miracle and Dr. Conn at Cat and Exotic Care gets credit for finding the magic formula that made it happen.

Kitten #3 Goes To Foster Home

     A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a couple of beautiful little tuxedo kittens, about five weeks old, that I trapped over in Arroyo Grande at a house on Halcyon. I said at the time they were two little girls. It turns out, they're a girl and a boy, and over the weekend they got a surprise--their sibling, a solid black kitty that I trapped on Friday night, came to live with them.

      This little guy (I'll call him a 'he' though I don't really know what he is; hard to tell when they're so little) was one of the feistiest kittens I've ever seen. He hissed, he spit, he ran around his cage and climbed the bars trying to find a way out. Then when that didn't work, he cried for mom. When that didn't work either, he finally let me pick him up and hold him, but he wiggled and squirmed the entire time, just waiting for a chance to jump free and go racing off into another zip code. It's really difficult on young kittens being alone and this guy was really missing mom, so on Sunday he went off to join his brother and sister at their foster home in San Luis, becoming socialized and getting big enough to be spay/neutered and go on to the Adopt-A-Pet and, hopefully, their forever homes.

       The priority now is to trap mom before she has a chance to get pregnant again and start the whole cycle over.

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     Update on the Little Dude: The Dude is doing great now that his calcium numbers are within normal range. Last night, I was eating edamame, those wonderful Japanese green beans, out of a bowl and the Dude came to check out what I had, as he always does (he is a foodie, no question about it). Suddenly he dipped his little head into the  bowl, grabbed an edamame and ran off with it like he'd just committed grand theft! He seemed so pleased with himself and spent the next hour batting that green bean around the living room floor, having more fun than I've ever seen him have with a PetCo or PetSmart bought cat toy.

     And this morning, I found him sitting on a chair in the dining room, a spot that previously would have been completely beyond his ability to reach. I'm amazed and thrilled that he's able to jump that high! His progress is truly remarkable. In the meantime, I'm going to the store to replenish our stock of edamame.

    

Great News For The Dude!

 

     It's now the middle of May, more than four months into the Little Dude's treatment to get his calcium levels into the normal range. He's been going to the vet every week to have blood drawn. Slowly, his calcium levels have risen, but still remained always in the abnormally low range.

     Until yesterday. Yesterday I took the Dude (aka Doodles) to see Dr. Conn at Cat and Exotic Care in Pismo Beach. He had his blood drawn and this time, the news was wonderful! The Dude's blood calcium level is now 9.3 with normal range being 7.8 - 11.3. This is up from 7.7 a few weeks ago. The Dude is now taking .75cc of calcitriol by mouth twice a day and 2.8 cc of calcium glubionate twice a day, which means his little body is being flooded with calcium. Numbers like this may seem like pretty dry fare for a blog, but I'm including them on the off chance that someone somewhere may one day be reading this who has encountered a similar problem. Dr. Conn has only been able to locate one other case similar to the Dude's, and this is after lengthy research and consulting other vets. There simply isn't much known about this situation where a cat has a calcium deficiency so severe as to be life-threatening.

      But at this point we seem to have turned a corner.

      Not only are the Dude's numbers way up, but he has made amazing progress in his physical abilities.  Last night before I went to bed, I was looking around for him and couldn't find him. This is not unusual. Like many cats, the Dude has magical powers and can become invisible at will, only to reappear instantly when the top of a can of wet cat food is popped. Anyway I checked in the garage, because he sometimes like to hang out there. At the back of the garage is a very large cat tree that stands about my height, 5'5" of so, and I saw a little black face looking out at me. At first I thought it had to be either Sister Bug or Little Mom, my two other solid black cats. Then I realized it was the Dude! Out of the blue, he had decided it was time to climb a cat tree!

     I am thrilled by his progress and I think the Dude's pretty thrilled with it, too. He has gone from being an undernourished abandoned kitten on the Mesa with serious health problems to a plump, happy young adult kitty whose health issues appear to be under control.

     Of course nothing can be taken for granted, and no one knows what the Dude's future may hold. He will probably never be a totally 'normal' cat. That's okay. He's a great little guy who has enriched my life enormously and does so on a daily basis. And when I tell him, "It's Doodles Day!" I know he totally agrees.

These Girls Have Bright Futures!

       About a month ago I got a call from a man in Arroyo Grande whom I'd met on a few previous occasions--he's a kind person who feeds the neighborhood ferals and wanted help getting them spay-neutered. I'd trapped five, but missed out on a pregnant female who now, he was reporting, had given birth to her kittens in his backyard. Now this guy is extraordinary and the world could use a few million more like him--he'd already set up a doghouse as a shelter for mom and she was in there with an undetermined number of kittens. He thought they were a few days to a week old.

      This was a night back in late March when it was not only very cold but pouring down rain. I mean, a deluge--and it had been raining for a couple of days. Even with the shelter of the doghouse, I couldn't imagine how those kittens could survive and I was heartsick thinking about them.

     But this mom did a first-rate job of keeping those little ones warm, dry, and fed, and survive they did!  I wanted to begin trapping for them as soon as possible, since the younger the kittens are when they go into foster homes, the more successfully they can be socialized--something that for feral kittens does not always come easily. But before I could even begin, Mom must have sensed something was up and she and the kittens relocated. This time, the homeowner discovered a few days later, they were living underneath his house!  At this point the kittens were four to five weeks old and really needed to be with humans if they were going to be socialized. The first night I trapped for them, I put out four kitten traps (basically squirrel traps) just outside the opening under the house where they were living. The next morning I had TWO little ones in the same trap--as sometimes happens with kittens, one had undoubtedly smelled the food and rushed in, following by sibling who didn't want to miss out. So both got trapped!

      To update this story, the two kittens spent three nights at my house, where my friend Claudia visited them and they were examined by our wonderful vet tech Anna Stewart. Anna treated them for fleas and also determined they were both little girls. Later that same afternoon, their new foster mom Jamie arrived to take them home with her. By the time she took them, they had stopped spitting and hissing and, while still unsure about all the changes in their short lives, they had taken the first few steps toward being socialized. Eventually they will be spayed and go off to the Adopt-A-Pet to find their Forever Home. Who knows, maybe some lucky person will take both of them!

      Here are a few pics of the little girls with Claudia: